My Soul Waits for the Lord

Oct. 23rd was 1 year that Tania came to the home here and into our care. She came as a sickly little girl who was HIV positive. She was allergic to dairy and had a lot of respiratory problems. Today she is HIV negative, is on raw cow’s milk and is a very active, healthy toddler. Praise God for his mercy on her life and His healing for her body! She is changing so much right now and we all enjoy her antics!

Our family is looking forward to going to Indiana in 2 weeks for Jeremy’s wedding and for a time of rest and refreshment. At the same time I feel so sad when I think of leaving Tania here. I know she won’t understand why we’ve left her and that we plan to return.  She was upset when she saw Regina’s suitcases the day she left. The rest of that evening she was just sad and wanted to be held. Such a mixture of emotions!

We had another adoption appointment on Tuesday. Right now they sound very positive but they say it will still be a long process. So many unknowns. So many details to just give to God because we can’t do anything about them. Last week Darin gave us a copy of a writing entitled “Learning to wait on the Lord”. It was a good reminder to us that this is in God’s time and He has a plan for our lives, a purpose to every delay.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."

"WAIT" (Author Unknown)

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried: Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, and the Master who gently said, "Child, you must wait."

"Wait?" You say, wait!," my indignant reply. "Lord, I need answers, I need to know why! Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard? By faith, I have asked, and am claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance, and You tell me to wait? I'm needing a 'yes' a go-ahead sign, or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"And Lord, You promised that if we believe we need but to ask, and we shall receive. Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry: I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate, as my Master replied once again, "You must wait." So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting… for what?"

He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine, and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign. I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun. I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run.

"All you ask me I could give, and pleased you would be. You would have what you want – but, you wouldn't know Me. You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint: You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair: You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there; you'd not know the joy of resting in Me when darkness and silence were all you can see.

"You'd never experience that fullness of love, as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove; you'd know that I live and I save… (for a start), but you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of My comfort late into the night. The faith that I give when you walk without sight. The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked of an infinite God.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, what it means that 'My grace is sufficient for Thee.' Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true. But, Oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see that the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me. And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late. My most precious answer of all is still, 'wait.'"

And so we wait…